Suicides: Thousands of helpless men are victimized every year, says SIFF
Moneylife Digital Team 14 June 2013

Often women are portrayed as victims, while men are seen as abusers. The arrest of Suraj Pancholi in the Jiah Khan Suicide case is not an example of the perils of lovesick women, but more evidence of an irresponsible police force says Save Indian Family Foundation, a non-profit NGO fighting for men’s rights, gender equality and family harmony

Suraj Pancholi, son of Bollywood actor Aditya Pancholi, was arrested and sent to jail for abetting the suicide of actress Jiah Khan. The actress attempted suicide eight months ago and nothing was done to ensure that she does not repeat it. Is suicide a solution to break-ups or separation?  It is absurd to assume that all human relations will remain everlasting in this age of modernity. Women are portrayed as victims, while men are seen as abusers. Pancholi’s arrest is not an example of the perils of lovesick women, but more evidence of an irresponsible police force, says Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), a non-profit NGO fighting for men’s rights, gender equality and family harmony.


According to a release from SIFF, Suraj Pancholi is not alone. Thousands of men across India have faced threats of suicide from their wives from time to time, if they do not meet her unreasonable demands. These men are scared. These abusive wives refuse to come to a counsellor or a psychiatrist. These men cannot run away from home or file for divorce, fearing that this may prompt her to commit suicide. They suffer mental and physical abuse from possessive, controlling and suspicious wives. In fact, the society laughs at them as “harassed husbands” rather than helping the man and making arrangements for counselling of such women. This phenomenon is now getting extended to relationships before marriage, as well. Being obsessively possessive and controlling is not a sign of love.


“India is sitting on a ticking time bomb as the society refuses to recognize the issue of threats of suicide inside marriages or in relationships. Society just behaves as if such incidents are rare or wishes that this problem will go away on its own. Then, it recommends revenge on the man if the woman commits suicide. Home ministry data says, 24% of all suicides in India are due to family reasons and 3.4% due to failed love affairs,” SIFF said.


This abetment to suicide law is very selectively applied by the police. When a husband commits suicide blaming torture by wife and in-laws, the police refuse to arrest the woman and her parents. However, if a wife commits suicide, the husband and in-laws go to prison for six months to two years and are presumed guilty until proven innocent. Is the life of a man cheap? Males are the disposable gender.


According to the NGO, Suraj Pancholi and many men are victimized as the hatred against men is fuelled by mass hysteria after incidents of rape. SIFF demands an end to large scale gender hate, stereotyping and the attitude to judge men harshly. If hate cannot solve communal or religious problems, then why it is assumed that blaming men and spreading hate against men will solve crimes against women?


Threat of suicide by man is actually defined as domestic violence under the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act (PWDVA), which is applicable to both marriages and live-in relationships. A woman can get a restraining order from a court against her husband and boyfriend if they threaten suicide. However, society and the women’s organizations force the government to refuse to protect men from such forms of domestic violence. If they had, then Suraj Pancholi would have got a restraining order and would have legally forced Jiah Khan to get psychiatric help.


Many actors like Shah Rukh Khan to Amitabh Bacchan have publicly proclaimed, “I am ashamed of being a man”. Shaming all men for the crimes of a few is nothing but anti-male hate or misandry. If misogyny is not healthy for the society, then how can misandry create a better society? We hope, Bollywood actors realize that in this grave hour, SIFF said.

1 decade ago
excellent assessment , we are indeed sitting on a time bomb. The issue also is aggrevated by our joint family system.In these times & age the values have changed parents unfortunately do not recalibrate their relationships with their children & with these kind of laws the women take advantage of it without realizing their impact.
rohan gupta
1 decade ago
Plz Save Suraj from 498A otherwise innocents will be framed! If c was depressed and left alone2move on then plz dont frame him to spoil his life!
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