A life of understanding and empathy isn't just ethical, but also healthier for the individual

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” —  Leo Buscaglia

Webster’s dictionary gives the following meaning to the word empathy: “The intellectual identification with, or vicarious experiencing of, the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.” Empathy is more enduring and valuable than sympathy or romantic love. It is derived from many roots, mainly Greek empatheia (affection) and has a lot to do with the root paschein (to suffer). It is also influenced by the German root Einfuhlung.

Man is here to be of use to others in society. This is the essence of spirituality which simply implies sharing and caring. However, empathy goes a step further, in trying to understand another’s feelings and responding to that in whatever manner possible. If we do just that, our very existence becomes meaningful and tranquil. The English poet, DH Lawrence, said it beautifully in the following lines:

“Our ingress into this world was naked and bare

Our progress in this world is trouble and care,

Our egress from this world would be nobody knows where,

If we do well here, we will do well there”  

Nothing gives one greater pleasure than to see a tear wiped from another’s eye. “It is not for thee alone, pass it on, pass it on…” said Jesus to his followers. It is in giving that one gets. History is replete with examples of very rich people who realised this fact late in life, changed their attitude and live happily thereafter. Nelson Rockefeller Sr, John Nobel (of dynamite fame), Bill Gates (the software giant) and many others have benefited by being empathetic to the needs of the less fortunate in society.

Man’s proclivity for comfort and his greed would, otherwise, destroy every God-given resource on this planet. Monetary economy of competition and jealousy is not conducive to good health even. Medical scientific research has come up with surprising findings that agree with ancient metaphysics. Negative thoughts, like hatred, jealousy, pride, anger, and frustration, with the consequent depression, are known to be the leading risk factors for major killers like heart attack, cancer, and stroke.

The present tendency towards hatred could only be self-destructive. “An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind,” Mahatma Gandhi said. At times, your altruism may be rewarded with betrayal. The antidote to any consequent resentment is to forgive. Forgiveness is the greatest asset of an evolved mind. People with a positive attitude are shown to live five to seven years longer, on an average, than those suffering negative thoughts all the time.

It is a pity that even in this century, nearly 90% of the world’s population lives in misery, while the remaining 10% enjoys 90% of the resources. This gulf between the haves and the have-nots is, if anything, widening by the day. Even in the advanced West, there is a massive divide between the rich and the poor and, over the years, the rich have become richer and the poor poorer. This inverse care law operates in every field of human activity. The rich practise the ‘Mathew Law’ of the Bible in its perverse interpretation: “He, who hath, shall be given.”  

Unless we live wisely, we will very soon perish. Man has been destroying this biosphere with all kinds of artificial pollutants. The stockpiling of nuclear waste too, is threatening every life on this planet.

In a manner of speaking, we are all but bundles of jumping lepto-quarks; the smallest sub-atomic particles. These lepto-quarks change from one to another constantly. One human being’s lepto-quarks today would have formed part of another human or animal sometime in the past. Hence, we are all inter-connected and inter-dependent. Together we make up this whole world. Against this background, empathy seems to be the all-important mantra for man’s future survival.

“I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I myself become the wounded person.” — Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

Professor Dr BM Hegde, a Padma Bhushan awardee in 2010, is an MD, PhD, FRCP (London, Edinburgh, Glasgow & Dublin), FACC and FAMS.