The seductive, ‘Ask me anything’ message of Axis Aha, the new, computerised incarnation of online chat under the banner of customer care, is rather deceptive.
In fact, it is hilarious, if not completely nuts. It just ignores your queries and keeps spouting the blatant lie, ‘Hey, I’m here to help you’ after announcing that you can open a fixed deposit (FD) or transfer funds or whatever.
Suddenly it acquires a sense of identity and says I can answer queries regarding balance inquiry, recharge, pay bills and block card too. Then it wants to further boast of its efficiency by announcing that it can also let you order a chequebook.
If you pause to wonder whether this is what you wanted to do, it cheerily announces, ‘Hey, I’m here to help you!’
You start imagining that the robot at the other end, with either an idiotic or an evil smile on its face, is sticking its tongue out at you. All along, it has not replied to your query.
So you turn to email, which is a new merry-go-round. If you write to Axis Bank Support [email protected]
, within a fraction of a second you get the reply that this email ID is invalid and that they have migrated to whatever, so please click on axisbank.com/support.
Once you do that, you are terminally trapped into a maze of given questions on the listed services. A customer is only entitled to have a query that Axis has condescendingly chosen to put on its list.
As regards the helpline phones, by the time you get to hear a human voice, the call invariably gets dropped.
So effectively, there is no way to reach Axis Bank with one’s own query.
To cap it all, it prompts you, in brazen defiance of the Supreme Court order, to update your know-your-customer (KYC), by keeping your Aadhaar number ready for uploading!
I would like to know whether there are any human beings left at Axis Bank, or is the show being run exclusively by robots, without any artificial intelligence (AI)?