Leisure, Lifestyle & Wellness
The God of Irony is following me around at the moment (The Funny Side)
Cop: You were doing 20 kilometres an hour over the speed limit. Me: Yes, but you're standing there telling me this on a planet spinning at 1,000 kilometres an hour moving around the sun at 107,000 kmph in a solar system that travels at 789,000 kmph through a galaxy moving at 1,000 km a second. Let's talk about you." (Cop doubles penalty.)
 
So much for science. Life is so ironic these days. In a bookshop recently I saw Blink, a tome that says the key to success is making snap decisions. I couldn't decide whether to buy it.
 
Later that day, I saw a news clip in which an energy minister's speech about 24x7 electricity supply was interrupted by a power cut. He continued to talk in the dark, although I think it's fair to say that his point was undermined. That incident in India was solid proof of the truth of my long-held belief that irony is The Guiding Principle of the Universe.
 
We live in a world where a kite-flying event in Hong Kong is cancelled after weather forecasters predict "a windy day"; a world where my silly friends try to organise an Animal Rights barbecue; a world where a woman wearing a Stop Domestic Violence T-shirt in the US was arrested for hitting family members.
 
Indeed, there could be a whole sub-category of incidents involving offenders wearing ironic or apt T-shirts, says reader Joshua Poulson, who collects police mugshots. He sent me one of a cold, unsmiling villain with "DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?" on his shirt. Women are much more likely to blame themselves for problems, and his collection includes a mugshot of an arrested female wearing a T-shirt saying: "I'm sorry, it's my fault". If she pleads not guilty in court, the shirt is going to be a problem.
 
This can also be said about a man arrested with "I'M PROBABLY LYING" emblazoned across his chest. Smart prosecutor: "Did you commit this crime, and can you tell us what your T-shirt says?" Suspect: "I'm not guilty, and 'I'M PROBABLY LYING'." 
 
Apt slogans are seen less often where I live in Asia, since our goods tend to have random, surreal sentences on them, such as: "So happy is my cucumber wind."
 
And, of course, there are the many unintentionally ironic people who comment "your stuped" (sic) on the web versions of my articles. Someone sent me a picture of a bumper sticker from a car in the US: "Your in America speak English." We need to pass a law now, before the climate change apocalypse, that allows us to legally eat anybody who writes "your" for "you're": Who's with me on that? Everybody. I thought so.
 
A few days ago, my news feed reported that insurance agents told the pastor of a storm-damaged church in Pennsylvania that they would get no money as floods are classified as "acts of God". The pastor took it in good humour, which seems wise. You can't win so you might as well smile.
 
Meanwhile, I need a judge who will listen when I explain that the movement of the Earth means it is scientifically impossible to move at less than 1,000 kilometres a second. And not double the penalty.
 
Disclaimer: Information, facts or opinions expressed in this news article are presented as sourced from IANS and do not reflect views of Moneylife and hence Moneylife is not responsible or liable for the same. As a source and news provider, IANS is responsible for accuracy, completeness, suitability and validity of any information in this article.

 

User

Nearly 60 million Indians suffer from mental disorders
At least 60 million Indians -- a number more than the population of South Africa -- suffer from mental disorders, even as the country lags the world in medical professionals and spending on mental-health issues.
 
Nearly 10-20 million Indians (1-2 per cent of the population) suffered from severe mental disorders such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, and nearly 50 million (5 per cent of population) suffered from common mental disorders like depression and anxiety at the end of 2005, Health and Family Welfare Minister J.P. Nadda informed the Lok Sabha (lower house of Parliament) in May 2016, quoting data from the National Commission on Macroeconomics and Health, 2005, the last report available.
 
India spends 0.06 per cent of its health budget on mental healthcare. This is less than Bangladesh (0.44 per cent). Most developed nations spend above four per cent of their budgets on mental-health research, infrastructure, frameworks and talent pool, according to a 2011 World Health Organisation (WHO) report.
 
The government has commissioned a national mental health survey through the National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro Sciences (NIMHANS), Bengaluru, to estimate the number of mental patients and utilisation patterns of mental health services.
 
Started on June 1, 2015, the study interviewed 27,000 respondents by April 5, 2016, according to a reply in the Lok Sabha from the Ministry of Health and Family Welfare.
 
India is short of health professionals to address mental issues, particularly at the district and sub-district level.
 
There are 3,800 psychiatrists, 898 clinical psychologists, 850 psychiatric social workers and 1,500 psychiatric nurses nationwide, according to a reply by the Ministry of Health and Family Welfare in the Lok Sabha in December 2015.
 
This means there were three psychiatrists per million people, according to data from WHO, 18 times fewer than the commonwealth norm of 5.6 psychiatrists per 100,000 people.
 
By this estimate, India is short of 66,200 psychiatrists. Similarly, based on the global average of 21.7 psychiatric nurses per 100,000 people, India needs 269,750 nurses.
 
The Mental Health Care Bill, 2013, which provides for protection and promotion of rights of persons with mental illness during the delivery of health care in institutions and in the community, was passed unanimously by a voice vote in the Rajya Sabha (upper house of Parliament) on August 8, 2016.
 
The new Bill has increased the funding to centres of excellence in mental health, from Rs30 crore to Rs33.70 crore per centre.
 
As many as 15 centres of excellence in mental health and 35 post-graduate training departments in mental health specialties have been funded to address the shortage of mental health professionals nationwide.
 
Disclaimer: Information, facts or opinions expressed in this news article are presented as sourced from IANS and do not reflect views of Moneylife and hence Moneylife is not responsible or liable for the same. As a source and news provider, IANS is responsible for accuracy, completeness, suitability and validity of any information in this article.
 

 

User

US aviation body warns against charging Samsung Note 7 on planes
Concerned over the growing battery explosion fears in Samsung's premium device Galaxy Note 7, the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has issued a warning not to charge or switch on Note 7 on board aircraft.
 
"In light of recent incidents and concerns raised by Samsung about its Galaxy Note 7 devices, the Federal Aviation Administration strongly advises passengers not to turn on or charge these devices on board aircraft and not to stow them in any checked baggage," the FAA said in a statement on Friday.
 
The strong warning came at a time when the south Korean giant is dealing with the global recall of nearly 2.5 million Galaxy Note 7 shipped so far across the world.
 
Three Australian airlines have already barred passengers from using or charging the smartphones during flights.
 
"Qantas and Virgin Australia have told passengers not to turn on Note 7 or charge them on flights," NBC News reported.
 
"On board announcements are being made prior to departure to inform all guests," Virgin Australia said in a statement.
 
An Australian man was left with burns when his Samsung smartphone "exploded" as he slept in his hotel room.
 
Tham Hua, from Victoria state who was visiting Western Australia, said his Samsung Galaxy Note 7 exploded in his hotel room, bursting into flames, Xinhua news agency reported on Wednesday.
 
"My brand new Note 7 exploded this morning while I was still asleep, it was plugged in and charging," Hua posted on a technology forum.
 
"Phone completely fried... (Samsung) told me this is the first case in Australia.
 
"(It) charred the hotel room bed sheet and the carpet when I whacked it down to the floor, burnt one of my fingers while doing that too."
 
Hua said the accident caused $1,300 worth of damage to his hotel room which Samsung offered to cover.
 
"Samsung Electronics Australia advises all customers who use a Galaxy Note 7 smartphone to power down their device, return it to its place of purchase and use an alternative device until a remedy can be provided," Samsung said in a statement.
 
As part of its global recall of Galaxy Note 7 after reports of battery explosion surfaced, Samsung Australia has formally recalled 51,060 such devices.
 
More than 35 cases of the exploding battery defect have been reported since the phone, which retails for $1,035, was launched on August 19.
 
Disclaimer: Information, facts or opinions expressed in this news article are presented as sourced from IANS and do not reflect views of Moneylife and hence Moneylife is not responsible or liable for the same. As a source and news provider, IANS is responsible for accuracy, completeness, suitability and validity of any information in this article.

User

We are listening!

Solve the equation and enter in the Captcha field.
  Loading...
Close

To continue


Please
Sign Up or Sign In
with

Email
Close

To continue


Please
Sign Up or Sign In
with

Email

BUY NOW

The Scam
24 Year Of The Scam: The Perennial Bestseller, reads like a Thriller!
Moneylife Magazine
Fiercely independent and pro-consumer information on personal finance
Stockletters in 3 Flavours
Outstanding research that beats mutual funds year after year
MAS: Complete Online Financial Advisory
(Includes Moneylife Magazine and Lion Stockletter)