Equality should be manifested in absolute terms and not be choice based. Everything should not be availed of by playing the victim card and one must stand for the choices one makes - be it a man or a woman
Tarun Tejpal's case has brought to light the often unspoken world of murky sexual liasons in corporate circuits. I am not commenting on the developments in this case, where the law shall take its course. But I read this article with advice for men on how to deal with women (http://m.ibnlive.com/news/some-openly-feminist-advice-to-men-on-how-to-deal-with-women/436211-3.html ) and I thought it's time for someone to speak up in this highly feminists dominated media and political atmosphere. I am actually compelled to thrash the hypocrisy of this attitude.
After reading comments from few readers, I am moved to clarify my stand on the Tejpal issue. I salute the woman who has dared to question a person with as much clout as he has. I have no doubt that she is telling the truth. Though the cause I have taken up makes me believe very little of what women say, there is no reason for this woman to lie. Moreover, her statement that she wants to fight to save other women from this kind of torture makes me respect her even more. She is not like those cowardly women who first file cases, then take money to settle the case and move on. And, the way most eminent feminists are behaving in this case exposes the farce of what they preach.
To begin with, I am all for women’s empowerment and I strongly believe that women need to stand shoulder to shoulder with men in every strata of society. But equality should be manifested in absolute terms and not choice based. Everything should not be availed of by playing the victim card and one must stand for the choices one makes—be it a man or a woman.
I have worked in the corporate world for couple of years including media and have been privy to a lot of conversations that often don't go public because of the mere fact that it’s not considered right to talk bad about a woman. Yes, no one has the right to do character assassination of anyone but I wouldn't hesitate to say, characters of men are assassinated perhaps more than women. Women are themselves victim to perks and promotions given to other women because of reasons that can very well be understood by any adult.
Affairs, flings, drunken banters, one night stands, selective promotions, undue adulation, flirting - we see them day and night in offices. Married men with single women, married women with single men—offices are replete with stories like these flying around. I am not morally questioning anyone's behaviour here. Every individual has the right to do whatever they wish to do in their life. But I think it's high time that the educated, empowered and liberated women of India, stand up for the choices they make in life. I mean, for how long can you keep blaming the society, the surroundings, and the circumstances for your behaviour? If you dare to take a risk (neither all men nor all women in this world are saints), you must understand the fallouts that are possible of that risk. If you call sexual advances by a man as assault then undue advances by a woman should also be called assault on the dignity of a man. But as this article proves, women of today want to do whatever they want to and then blame everyone else for it!
I am flabbergasted seeing rape cases with charges like rape on pretext of marriage after relationship of three years, four years, five years.....
I mean how insane is that? How can you keep on having physical relationship with a person for years if you have an iota of doubt that the person will not marry you? And if marriage was that sacred an institution for you to have sex, then go get married first and then get intimate. Girls are running away with boys on their own wish and parents are filing rape cases. What is happening here? (http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-07-28/delhi/40848274_1_false-cases-false-allegation-anita)
Anyways, to keep it short, here is my advice to young, carefree, party freak women of India, smitten by the feminists 'your body your choice' and 'your body your no responsibility' campaign…
1. Please don't use your gender as a trump card whenever you wish to use it that way.
2. Alcohol doesn't affect only your mind and your actions, it does to the other gender also. Drink safe and be safe. But please don't cry rape after you realise that you went too overboard.
3. Being physical with someone is entirely your choice. If you think sex is being used, then better don't get used and then cry later.
4. STOP using men for every need of yours, hurt them emotionally and then say sorry. They are not tissue papers. They are human beings too. Yes, they can't file a rape case on you if you dump them, but please don't cry rape just because you have the option to do so.
5. Stop LYING and then cry crocodile tears to hide your deeds. If you have made a choice of living the life the way you want, then don't be apologetic about it and run from it when discovered. Have guts to be what you are! Have multiple partners? Allow your man to have it too...don't call it violence then. AND PLEASE marriages are not a license to have EMA (extramarital affairs). Don't get married if you want to have several sex partners.
6. Begin your rebellion from your own homes, and stop fantasising a world full of roses in your in-laws home. Those parents are also born, brought up and fed with the same principles as your own father and mother. If you call your mother in law cruel for not allowing you to go for late night parties, then call your mother cruel first, to whom you always lied while going to the late night parties. Dun wanna get married? Tell your parents. Dun wanna live in a joint family? Tell before you get married. Can't manage a home, be upfront. But be Honest.
7. PLEASE STOP SETTLING CASES IN EXCHANGE OF MONEY. I mean that's RIDICULOUS. Justice can't be done with compromises if you are fighting a real criminal. STOP THIS LEGAL EXTORTION.
8. A man's NO also means a NO. Don’t feel hurt and go around and call him a womaniser since he did not like you.
9. Don't feel bad if you are decked up so well and no man is looking at you. After all you are asking men to refrain from looking at girls.
10. You give Respect. You earn Respect. You don't get respect for just being a woman.
11. Men want to live their life their own way as well. Stop trying to change them for what you want them to be. They are human beings. Not dogs that you can tame them the way you want. And file CRIMINAL charges on them when they don't adhere to your ridiculous demands.
12. STOP GIVING DOWRY. Ask your share from your father's property, that's your first RIGHT.
13. Rights come with responsibilities. If MEN would stop taking all the responsibilities that you tag as privilege for them, then no one but you will suffer the most.
14. If women value generosity in a man, than Men also value decency and generosity in a woman. You can't go and shout on a man to vacate a seat just because you are a woman.
15. Don't take Men for granted. They are extremely good and caring as long as they are not deeply hurt. Think about the sacrifices your brother and father have made since you were a toddler. Be thoughtful about them and don't blame them for everything.
16. Don't think the entire world is full of good people. Your SAFETY is your RESPONSIBILITY first.
17. Men and women are differently equal. Don't try to make a man a woman and a woman a man. Appreciate the similarities and accept the differences. Nature has made us the way we are for a reason.
18. "My Body My Choice", His Body My choice. His life My choice. His money My choice. His freedom My choice. His mannerisms My choice. His family My Choice. His decisions My Choice - Stop these double standards and then say this is a patriarchal society.
19. Know when he needs your emotional support and stop ridiculing him for being what he is. We all face failures. Don't punish them for failing in life.
20. Last but not least, A FALSE CASE destroys families, lives, career, soul and everything. It's nothing less than a rape. Please don't legally rape men, just because you are privileged to do so!
Disclaimer: I am not a person infected with patriarchal thoughts, if any of you feminists reading this article would want to keep me in that bracket. I call a spade a spade. I don’t play the gender cards. I don’t cry equality first and then suddenly define the rules for others to LIVE. For anyone who is reading this, it would be worthwhile to see the state of 'FALSE' rape cases being filed in India: https://www.facebook.com/notes/deepika-narayan-bhardwaj/false-rape-files/639495616090186
And also, how these feminists wanting to have several sex partners are killing their husbands: http://ekhusbandkimaut.blogspot.in/
(Deepika Narayan Bhardwaj is a journalist and working on a documentary film on the misuse of IPC section 498A)
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