Leisure, Lifestyle & Wellness
Now household pets are delivering blows to my self-esteem (The Funny Side)
A dog has learned to read. Fernie, a two-year-old labrador from the UK, can read four words and is working on another 20, says his owner, a teacher.
 
I was impressed, as I well remember the difficulty I once had trying to teach a two-year-old human not to throw herself off a balcony.
 
All parents know that children get furiously angry if we stop them doing things like climbing into lion enclosures, drinking poison, eating mystery brown objects off the forest floor and the like. The basic toddler philosophy is: "I wonder what (insert lethal activity here) feels like? Let's find out."
 
(I suspect there's also a subconscious undercurrent of "Time for a quick round of Make Dad Panic.")
 
Parenting books say "they grow out of it". They don't say that they grow right back into it as teenagers, who have the exact same philosophy, but with more expensive dangers. ("I wonder what would happen if we mixed every chemical in the school lab?")
 
The obvious solution is to teach children the way we teach dogs. "Sit." (Child sits.) "Who's a good boy?" (Adult pats head and presents tiny morsel of food.) "Study! Pass exams! (Child studies and passes exams.) "Who's a good boy?" (Adult pats head and presents another tiny morsel of food.) and so on and so forth.
 
What if your child can't talk yet? You can still teach it, thanks to scientists in Taiwan who have just invented an Infant Cries Translator app. You download the app and stick your phone near your baby's mouth. Wah wah waahhhhh is translated on the screen into clear, adult-readable terms such as: "I wish to have an additional beverage, carer."
 
This reminded me of my first daughter, who had advanced verbal skills and actually spoke like that from about 18 months old: "Convey me to the potty immediately, carer, or you and your so-called Persian rug will live to regret it."
 
Happy memories. But I was brought back on topic by a colleague from the US who says TV shows in her home country feature a dog called Willow who can read. Clearly this is the trend.
 
I'm sorry, but I'm not convinced that teaching animals to read is a good thing. Life is grim enough without coming home to be greeted by my dog saying things like: "What do you think of Schopenhauer's second volume of essays? Good grief, you haven't read it, have you?"
 
The fact is reading gives humans an evolutionary advantage that we should not share with less-evolved creatures such as dogs, cats, amoeba, Donald Trump fans and the like.
 
But I must admit I was curious. So I handed my newspaper to my dog. She stared at the front page picture (a politician of course) and then tilted her head to one side, apparently having the same gyroscopic thing in her brain that smartphones have. Then she took a step forwards and peed on it. That was probably a rather insightful thing to do. I wish I'd thought of it.
 
If dogs do learn to read, let's limit them to books about their kind: White Fang, 101 Dalmatians, and Marley and Me are probably the three most famous. Do NOT give them Cujo.
 
Disclaimer: Information, facts or opinions expressed in this news article are presented as sourced from IANS and do not reflect views of Moneylife and hence Moneylife is not responsible or liable for the same. As a source and news provider, IANS is responsible for accuracy, completeness, suitability and validity of any information in this article.

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SC transfers Kanhaiya Kumar's bail plea to HC
New Delhi : The Supreme Court on Friday transferred to the Delhi High Court JNU Students' Union president Kanhaiya Kumar's petition seeking bail and security.
 
An apex court bench of Justice J.Chelameswar and Justice Abhay Manohar Sapre, while transferring Kanhaiya's petition, asked the high court to hear it expeditiously.
 
The court also recorded the statement of Solicitor General Ranjit Kumar that the lawyers representing Kanhaiya Kumar before the high court and media personnel be provided with full security.
 
The court directed its secretary general to forthwith transfer Kanhaiya's writ petition and related papers to the high court.
 
Kanhaiya Kumar's lawyers are likely to mention it for an early hearing before the high court on Friday afternoon.
 
Disclaimer: Information, facts or opinions expressed in this news article are presented as sourced from IANS and do not reflect views of Moneylife and hence Moneylife is not responsible or liable for the same. As a source and news provider, IANS is responsible for accuracy, completeness, suitability and validity of any information in this article.

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COMMENTS

Ogeppa S Kempawad

1 year ago

Wish all anti-nationals get capital punishment.

REPLY

shadi katyal

In Reply to Ogeppa S Kempawad 1 year ago

Could you kindly define NATIONALISM as one liner has no value

shadi katyal

1 year ago

One wonder if SC jdges are already sold out and being dictated by ruling party.
Where is the question by SC about the anarchy by Lawyers inside the court room and in its compound.
Evidentlty it is well planned and excuted agena of RSS to bring such goondaism and then claim being immune.
Why the attoney like Chuhan has defied rule of Law and has shown that he is iommune to the Law.
The fake video or doctored one shows that RSS has planned this well and police and Judges have gioven up their authorities.
So who is responsbile for this.
We are ashamed of it but is the BJP leaders

New method to check pay-per-click advertising fraud
New York : Indian-origin researchers have proposed a new method for detecting fraud from the payment-per-click model - a pricing model used for online advertising.
 
"If somebody likes something, they can click on the ad and go directly to the site. Hopefully, that translates to a sale. No matter whether it does or not, the advertiser pays for these clicks. In the pay-per-click model, if people or bots are clicking fraudulently, then the advertiser is losing money," said Suresh Radhakrishnan, professor at the University of Texas in the US.
 
The researchers have proposed a way to support technological improvements to check fraud which, they said, is affecting the advertising industry as a whole.
 
The study considers identifying click fraud as a three-stage process: the service provider -- for example, Google or Yahoo -- classifies clicks as fraudulent or not. 
 
Then, the advertiser does the same, using his technology. If there is a disagreement, the service provider examines further and its conclusion is considered binding.
 
The problem with the new approach is intuitive. For a service provider, if he gets paid, it doesn't matter whether it's a valid click or a fraudulent.
 
But the advertiser would want to verify whether the click is fraudulent or not. Even if the click is valid, the advertiser may say that it's fraudulent because of the pay-per-click cost, the researchers explained.
 
To solve the problem, the researchers suggested that an independent third party investigate and flag fraudulent clicks when a conflict arises between the advertiser and the service provider.
 
"In the long term, for the pay-per-click model to survive, you will need to make sure both parties are happy, so technologies will have to get to a point where click fraud is minimized," Varghese Jacob, vice dean of the Naveen Jindal School of Management.
 
"People will have to invest in such improvements. Otherwise the pay-per-click model may not be sustainable," Jacob noted.
 
The findings appeared in the journal Information Systems Research.
 
Disclaimer: Information, facts or opinions expressed in this news article are presented as sourced from IANS and do not reflect views of Moneylife and hence Moneylife is not responsible or liable for the same. As a source and news provider, IANS is responsible for accuracy, completeness, suitability and validity of any information in this article.

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