Leisure, Lifestyle & Wellness
Motivational speakers have wrong message for business listeners (The Funny Side)
Be warned. Touchy-feely spiritual types are storming the world of work, creating absurdity
 
I once sat in a seminar where the motivational speaker kept saying: "Accept yourself as you are." Fine with me, but the colleagues at my side all had serial killer personalities. I tried to warn the speaker but she didn't pick up my discreet pointing and head-shaking gestures.
 
People in certain professions, such as journalism, law, and stockbroking can be "rough diamonds" - minus the diamond part. One reporter colleague made so many enemies that he ended up renaming half the contacts in his phone's electronic address book "Do Not Answer".
 
Be warned. Touchy-feely spiritual types are storming the world of work, creating absurdity.
 
Example: In front of me is a Financial Times report which says British accountants are now calculating the cash value of the workings of nature: "The National Audit Office estimated the value of bees' service to the British economy at £200 million."
 
Of course, everyone's thrilled that bees' hard work has finally been recognized, but what would bugs do with paypackets? (I suggest the money be diverted to other low level, insect-like toilers, such as me.)
 
The new corporate buzz-phrase is "non-tangible costs". A prominent Indian think-tank said that a single hamburger "with non-tangible costs" would be $200. I think everyone was supposed to be amazed by this, but it just reminded me of the cost of meat at my overpriced local supermarket, which I shall call ParknRob.
 
Then the US Center for Investigative Reporting said that if you included all the associated costs of getting gasoline to your car, gas should cost $15 a gallon. But I'm sure they failed to include US wars, in which case the true cost should be $15 billion a gallon. Which reminds me of the cost of cartons of milk or juice at ParknRob.
 
Then Britain's Department for Transport produced a financial chart which included "the real value of time". If time has a cash value, I wouldn't mind buying a few extra centuries (with my bee money), as I've always fancied being an immortal!
 
Enough! What humanity needs to do is to remember the 1963 line from sociologist William Bruce Cameron: "Not everything that counts can be counted." Now before you correct me, I know full well that the Internet attributes this quote to Einstein. But you should never believe anything on the Internet, unless you are reading this on the internet, in which case, this sentence is the sole exception.
 
The seminar ended with the motivational speaker telling us that the most important thing in life was to "be yourself". My serial killer colleagues smiled and nodded.
 
Perhaps I shouldn't complain. Public speaking is a difficult, scary thing to do. Someone once advised me that if I felt nervous on stage I should imagine the audience naked, but I tried it and it totally didn't help.
 
Still, business types should listen to creative individuals. Case in point: comedian Stephen Wright asked: "If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?" I have no idea, but the total world debt is currently $233 trillion. That's quite a lot of money. That reminds me: my weekly ParknRob bill is due.

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Nifty, Sensex may bounce back – Thursday closing report
Nifty is close to a short-term term bottom
 
We had mentioned in Wednesday’s closing report that CNX Nifty is on a downtrend and may get support near 8,000, if it goes below yesterday’s low. Today, the index fell to 7,997 and shot up to recover a lot of lost ground. The index moved to its lowest since 17 December 2014 and closed near to it. 
 
S&P BSE Sensex opened at 26,721 while Nifty opened at 8,077. The indices hit a lower high at 26,850 and 8,123. Sensex hit a low at 26,424 and closed at 26,599 (down 118 points or 0.44%) while Nifty hit a low at 7,997 and closed at 8,057 (40 points or 0.49%). Bank Nifty opened lower at 17,751 which was also its day’s high. This was followed by the gradual downward move. The index hit a low at 17,247 and closed at 17,377 (down 423 points or 2.37%). NSE recorded a volume of 82.45 crore shares. India VIX fell 0.10% to close at 19.6500.
 
The Cabinet Committee on Economic Affairs, chaired by the Prime Minister Narendra Modi, has on Wednesday approved the proposal of Department of Industrial Policy & Promotion to review the investment limit for cases requiring prior approval of the Foreign Investment Promotion Board (FIPB) / Cabinet Committee on Economic Affairs (CCEA. It appears that only investment cases over Rs3000 crore will come it.
 
IMF today said that although India's near-term growth outlook has improved, its medium-term prospects remain constrained by long standing structural weakness, describing the country as a new bright spot in Asia.
 
The Reserve Bank may cut rate by 25 basis points even before its monetary policy review on June 2 as inflation is easing and the US Fed tightening is expected by year end, SBI said in a research note today.
 
Among stocks, in spite of posting poor March 2015 quarter result IIFL Holdings rose 5.14% to close at Rs182.10 on the BSE. The stock was the top gainer in ‘A’ group on the BSE. Jet Airways fell 8.88% to close at Rs357.10 on the BSE. The stock was the top loser in ‘A’ group on the BSE.
 
TCS (3.27%) was the top gainer in Sensex 30 pack thanks to falling rupee while Axis Bank (2.95%) was the top loser in the pack.
 
Among the sectoral indices on the BSE, S&P BSE Information Technology (1.63%) was the top gainer while S&P BSE Bankex (2.33%) was the top loser.
 
On Wednesday US indices closed in the red. US Federal Reserve Chairwoman Janet Yellen warned of high share valuations, adding to anxiety about future interest rates.
 
Private payrolls in the US increased by 169,000 in April, according to a report compiled by payroll processor Automatic Data Processing Inc. and forecasting firm Moody's Analytics.
 
All the Asian indices closed in the red. Shanghai Composite (2.77%) was the top loser.
 
European indices are trading in the red. US market is trading marginally higher. In France, output increased again in the manufacturing industry by 0.3% in March 2015 after a 0.5% growth in February 2015, while it fell back in the industry as a whole at minus 0.3% after 0.5% growth in February 2015, latest data from Insee showed today.

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