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Animals are getting smarter, which worries me (The Funny Side)
A wild monkey in India got into a truck, used the ignition key to turn it on, and managed to put it in gear, driving across a stockyard, the media reported. 
 
Some lost dogs can traverse mountains and cross continents to find their way home, but mine can't find a lump of meat she's sitting on.
 
And then I check my email and read a report about animal intelligence.
 
A wild monkey in India got into a truck, used the ignition key to turn it on, and managed to put it in gear, driving across a stockyard, the media reported. 
 
This makes it considerably more intelligent than the humans I once tried to teach to drive. Me: "Turn left." Learner: "Which way's left? No, don't tell me, I can Google it."
 
Clearly this Indian monkey is proof of evolution. I wonder if I can persuade it to swap jobs with the guy who drove the bus I took home one night last week. He flew over bumps so fast that we passengers spent much of the ride in mid-air, like Sandra Bullock in the movie "Gravity", except for the final few seconds, when we were all pinned to the ceiling. 
 
The only comfort was a fellow passenger's comment that Justin Bieber, Angelina Jolie and Katy Perry have reportedly paid $200,000 to experience zero gravity in a Virgin Galactic spaceship due to be launched later this year, while we get the same thing regularly for small change. Actually, I would pay that much to send Mr. Bieber into space, as long as it was a one-way ticket.
 
Animals are getting smarter. A turkey recently thrice broke out of a high security turkey farm in the UK, I read in a news link sent to me by reader Aalia Shan. The bird has been named Houdini and turkey-farmer Geoff Mellin took it off death row, telling a local reporter that it was no coincidence that Houdini's escapes happened during peak turkey consumption time. "He obviously knew what was going to happen," he said.
 
And remember that guy in Taiwan who got his talking mynah bird to say nasty things about his neighbor? Every time Wang Han-chin went to work, a voice shrieked out after him: "You clueless, big-mouthed idiot." Wang tried to take out a lawsuit but prosecutors said there was legal no way to charge "lower forms of life" with slander. (Thought: Can nationalist politicians use this defence?)
 
My plan for world peace is to get a flock of talking mynah birds and teach them to say three things. 1) "Help, I've been turned into a mynah bird." 2) "You are the chosen one who has to find a way to reverse the spell." 3) "Hurry up, idiot." Then I will release them into the world's trouble zones to distract people from fighting. Worth a try, right?
 
A colleague says blue parakeets have the biggest vocabularies, and "a famous one called Puck knew 1,728 words". This is definitely more than some humans I know, who get through their lives with a dozen utterances, most of which are just grunts.
 
Now my stupid dog is in a bad mood because she thinks I have hidden the piece of meat she is still sitting on. And talking of snacks, where did I put my chocolate bar? Uh-oh.
 
Disclaimer: Information, facts or opinions expressed in this news article are presented as sourced from IANS and do not reflect views of Moneylife and hence Moneylife is not responsible or liable for the same. As a source and news provider, IANS is responsible for accuracy, completeness, suitability and validity of any information in this article.

User

COMMENTS

Bapoo Malcolm

11 months ago

If I put in a comment, do I have to share it on Facebook?

Seems unfair. Why should I?

Bapoo M Malcolm

Bapoo Malcolm

11 months ago

Cute; very cute.

Is the legal profession in danger?

Bapoo M Malcolm, Advocate.

81 percent citizens voted against Free Basics: LocalCircles
New Delhi : A whopping 81 percent in a survey of 30,000 people have voted against Free Basics or any such programme and want an unbiased or neutral internet for themselves, a survey conducted by citizen engagement platform LocalCircles said here on Thursday.
 
LocalCircles said in a statement that when asked if the central or state government should provide free internet access covering essential or useful citizen services, 78 percent of the respondents said yes.
 
"This basically redefines the concept of net neutrality and has implications on what is provided as content when the internet is free and provided by the government. Internet evangelists who have stake in the internet being open to all meaning that all websites and apps should be given equal access will be disappointed by what the citizens want," the statement said.
 
"If the government wants to make electronic books available for free it can make sure that they are at least available on all government hotspots," said LocalCircles chief strategy officer K. Yatish Rajawat.
 
"This would not be possible if free internet is understood only through what private internet companies are offering. The debate on net neutrality has to take into account that access to internet is important and its misuse is also a possibility," he added.
 
Industrialist Anil Ambani-led Reliance Communications (RCOM) on December 23 said following the Indian telecom regulator's directive, the commercial launch of Facebook's Free Basics has been put on hold till it gets clearance. 
 
RCOM is the only telecom service provider offering Free Basics in India.
 
The regulator said Facebook's Free Basics service should remain on hold till the ruling on differential pricing on data services - an important aspect of net neutrality - comes.
 
Disclaimer: Information, facts or opinions expressed in this news article are presented as sourced from IANS and do not reflect views of Moneylife and hence Moneylife is not responsible or liable for the same. As a source and news provider, IANS is responsible for accuracy, completeness, suitability and validity of any information in this article.

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