Bharat Matrimony: Instant shaadi!

The idea of instant marriage is exciting, but the commercial itself is pretty juvenile and badly made—in fact, it’s quite boring

Wisdom suggests that you really, really must know a person before you pop the big question. On issues of compatibility, values, attitudes, ideologies, etc, etc. However, Bharat Matrimony has turned that concept on its head. They have converted the process of marriage into an easy a chore as whipping up Maggie noodles.

Here’s their promise: akin to ‘Privilege Banking’ and ‘Privilege Flying’, they have come up with the offer of ‘Privilege Matrimony’. What this means is that these chaps will get you married on a priority basis, maybe even inside a given working day! Wow! The strategic intent is this: Because you don’t have the time to search for, and then suss out a suitable partner, Privilege Matrimony’s ‘relationship managers’ will take that load off your back, and find you a partner who they think is perfect for you! But sorry, there’s a caveat: this service comes with no guarantees. So if the ‘product’ turns out to be faulty, you are on your own, mate.

The commercial begins with a shot of two executives inside an office elevator. One looks like a winner, and the other a loser. Through the door, a hand slips in and delivers an envelope to the winner suit, and it turns out to be a pretty woman’s picture. This stupefies the loser exec a great deal, and since he has no work to do at office, the fellow decides to unravel the mystery of the said picture. He keeps a watchful eye on the proceedings, as the girl’s kundali arrives in the middle of a meeting. A coffee date gets arranged over the facsimile machine. And then the winner exec’s dinner meet with the full family gets finalised to formalise the rishta! All in a day’s work, how cool is that.

The commercial itself is pretty juvenile and badly made—in fact, it’s quite boring, so let’s forget about that. It’s the idea of instant marriage that excites. I don’t know if the conservative Indian families will bite, but perhaps the twitterati may get sucked in.

Which is what Bharat Matrimony must hope for. Just two quick points: One, if on office time such activities are allowed to go on, the execs should be summarily sacked. Two, if this is the way people get married these days, the ‘Privilege Matrimony’ package must also include a ‘Privilege Divorce’ scheme, to cut headaches and queues at the family courts.

Meanwhile, you go get married. I need to prepare some noodles.

User

COMMENTS

J

7 years ago

THE GREED OF THE 2 GREEDY MATRIMONIAL SITES RIDING ON ZEROES AS THEIR STATISTICAL SUCCESS - SHAADI & BHARATMATRIMONY - BOTH WITH ROTTEN CUSTOMER SERVICES - IS LIMITLESS.

AS LONG AS YOU KEEP GREASING THEM WITH PAYMENTS, THEY WILL KEEP COMING UP WITH THEIR OWN CHEAP THRILLS WHICH IS THANKLESS FOR MILLIONS OF CANDIDATES!

HIGH TIME THESE GUYS HAVE A CONTROLLING AGENCY AS THEY TRY TO CONTROL TOO MANY THINGS OF CUSTOMERS ONCE THEY HOOK THEM UP WITH "FREE" SIGNING UP, ADDING TO THEIR STATISTICAL NOS.!

nandakumar

7 years ago

Wonderfully said. Even marriages with so much of research and matching do falter. Matching of minds of not only the boy and the girl but also their parents is very essential.

Ajay Chandankar

7 years ago

gfdg

Narendra Doshi

7 years ago

agreeable comments

India Inc's M&A deal tally hits $25 billion in April-June quarter

While the number of outbound deals tripled from 22 in Q2 of 2009 to 66 in the same quarter of this year, the number of inbound deals decreased to 23 in the second quarter of 2010 as against 24 deals last year during the same period

Driven by Reliance Infratel's $10.86 billion merger deal with GTL Infrastructure, the total value of merger and acquisition (M&A) deals in the country jumped nine-fold to $24.8 billion in the second quarter (Q2) of 2010, reports PTI.

According to a monthly report of VCCEdge, the financial research platform of VCCircle.com, the M&A deal value during the April-June period touched $ 24.8 billion, taking the total M&A kitty so far this year to $48 billion. In comparison, it was $2.8 billion in the second quarter of 2009.

The deal count also witnessed an upward trend and surged to 182 in Q2 of the 2010 calendar year, compared to 98 in the year-ago period.

The period saw as many as 91 domestic deals worth $14 billion, compared to 50 deals worth $1.7 billion in the year-ago period, the report said.

While the number of outbound deals tripled from 22 in Q2 of 2009 to 66 in the same quarter of this year, the number of inbound deals decreased to 23 in the second quarter of 2010 as against 24 deals last year during the same period.

Big tickets dominated the M&A space this quarter as larger deals (worth $100 million and above) accounted for as much as 96% of the total capital invested in the second quarter this year.

"Q2, 2010, saw some big tickets deals, which sent the total M&A deal value soaring. This signalled the return of investor confidence and liquidity to the market," the report noted.

The top transaction in the April-June period was Reliance Communication subsidiary Reliance Infratel's $10.86 billion deal to merge its telecom tower business with GTL Infra. The combined entity would be the world's largest independent telecom infrastructure company, with 80,000 towers.

Other major M&A transactions during Q2 include Abbott's $3.72 billion buyout of Piramal Healthcare's solutions business and Hinduja Group's acquisition of Luxembourg-based KBL European Private Bankers for $1.67 billion.

Meanwhile, a sector-wise analysis shows that telecom, healthcare and financial services were the most targeted sectors, attracting deals worth $12 billion, $3.8 billion and $3.4 billion, respectively, in the latest quarter.

In terms of deal volume, the most active sector was information technology, which cornered 38 deals, followed by consumer discretionary and industrials, with 30 and 23 deals respectively.

The five major deals in the second quarter of this year accounted for over 75% of the total M&A deals, the report added.

User

Airtel to invest $600 million in Nigerian operations

Bharti Airtel CEO Manoj Kohli told reporters in Lagos that the company will also invest in rural telephony and introduce a corporate social responsibility programme that includes setting up schools that would offer free education to underprivileged children in rural communities

India's largest cellular service company Bharti Airtel will invest $600 million in Nigeria's mobile market following its takeover of Zain Telecom's African business for around $10.7 billion, reports PTI.

Manoj Kohli, CEO, international and joint managing director, told reporters in the country's commercial capital, Lagos, on Tuesday that Bharti will also invest in rural telephony and introduce a corporate social responsibility (CSR) programme that includes setting up schools that would offer free education to underprivileged children in rural communities.

"We are very delighted to be in Nigeria and at the outset like to express our deep gratitude and than the government of Nigeria for their overwhelming support. We want to be a partner in Nigeria's growth and will work with the government to take the telecom network deep into all corners of the country to touch the common man," Mr Kohli said.

The company will also bring its ecosystem of global partners to Nigeria and this will increase employment opportunities in the country with a teeming number of unemployed school leavers.

Mr Kohli said Bharti will embark on an aggressive expansion in Nigeria in order to boost the profile of the country with a population of 150 million people as an emerging market powerhouse.

He noted that mobile phone customers in Nigeria use only 50 minutes of airtime a month whereas 450 minutes is obtainable in India and promised to make an improvement.

He sounded optimistic about the future of Africa stating: "If a company hopes to grow, they have to be in Africa and the jewel of Africa is Nigeria."

Zain's Nigeria CEO Rajan Swaroop said: "In Nigeria we will continue to build on the momentum ...introduce innovative products and services for our customers in Nigeria."

Mobile telephony was introduced in Nigeria in early 2000 and South African-based MTN controls half of the market despite the presence of some other companies like Globacom and Etisalat.

However, lowering of call tariff may give Bharti an edge as most Nigerians complain of high cost of making calls.

Bharti Airtel embarked on the largest ever telecom takeover by an Indian firm on 8 June, 2010, when it completed a transaction to buy Kuwait-based Zain Telecom's businesses in 15 African countries for $10.7 billion.

The Africa holdings include Burkina Faso, Congo, Gabon, Ghana, Kenya, Malawi, Madagascar, Niger, Sierra Leone, Tanzania, Uganda, Chad and Zambia.

User

We are listening!

Solve the equation and enter in the Captcha field.
  Loading...
Close

To continue


Please
Sign Up or Sign In
with

Email
Close

To continue


Please
Sign Up or Sign In
with

Email

BUY NOW

The Scam
24 Year Of The Scam: The Perennial Bestseller, reads like a Thriller!
Moneylife Magazine
Fiercely independent and pro-consumer information on personal finance
Stockletters in 3 Flavours
Outstanding research that beats mutual funds year after year
MAS: Complete Online Financial Advisory
(Includes Moneylife Magazine and Lion Stockletter)